Tuesday, November 30, 2010

...Describes Cereal Commercials for Blind Children

This is a description I have written as a favor to the blind children of the world of the visual content of a cereal commercial. In particular, a Fruity Pebbles commercial circa 2010 in which Barney is a snowboarder.

It opens with a red sign on a snowy mountain slope reading "Fruity Pebbles Trick Off", the camera pulls back and Barney Rubble (a cylindrical caveman from a 1960s cartoon with blond hair and dots for eyes) on a snowboard flies over it, eclipsing the sun and creating a radiant prism of colored light behind him, that then shines from the cereal bowl in his hand. The underside of his snow board says "Pebbles" and he is wearing blue pants, green coat, orange scarf, purple hat, and goggles. A mountain goat atop an icy peek watches on.

"Mmm, extreme fruity flavor" retorts Rubble when he is accused of the theft of Fred's Fruity Pebbles by an unseen announcer. To prove his point, he slaloms between snowy trees and off a ramp-trailing a rainbow behind him. At the top of the ramp, the aurora shines in the colors of the cereal in Barney's bowl. Then the fruits represented by the cereal appear in the sky. Cherries, Orange, Blueberries, Lemons, Grapes, and Limes.

Suddenly, it is day again and Barney's rainbow rampage lands him in the path of a snowman on skis with bones for arms and a carrot and coal for a face. He is also wearing a top hat with a leopard print band (signature look of Fred Flintstone) with earmuffs under it. "What's this?" an obvious ambush as meaty, mittened arms pop out of the snowman and grab the bowl from the bewildered Barney, who slides past streaming rainbows from the sides of his goggles with a discontent on his face.

Skiing forward, Fred's got his Pebbles, and the snow melts off him and the top hat flys away. Fred has black hair and wears his trademark orange with tiger stripes one-piece dress. Again nighttime, Fred skis over a cliff face gap, and the aurora again shines to reveal the fruits: cherries, orange, blueberries, grapes, lemon, lime.

Barney's back, and he slides ahead of Fred. He crashes into a tree with his snowboard, miraculously bouncing aside and causing the tree's boughs to drop a pile of snow that stick his skis and sends Fred skyward and into a cave composed of two flat rock slabs leaning against each other with a pile of rocks in front and a log. The cave, which seems barely large enough for Fred, let alone the bear which breaks it open and chases Fred- causing him to "fumble the bowl" by throwing it directly up into the air where Barney catches it. He lands to find Fred hanging onto a defoliated tree with an angry bear, large enough to see Fred at eye-level and easily capable of reaching him, roaring. But then the bear turns around and gives a "What the...!?" grunt as Barney slides past.

Fred screams, and the scream is animated as concentric yellow rings representing the soundwaves of his fury as they ricochet off the mountain peaks. This causes an avalanche that reaches Barney, now on flat ground, who escapes it. Fred does not, and as the camera focuses on the complete breakfast in the foreground (composed of a box of cereal, glass of milk, grapes, oranges, a crude stone bowl and primitive spoon for said cereal, and four slices of French toast with a large pat of butter on top of a flat rock.) Fred emerges from the snow with the cereal bowl, always glowing with a rainbow of sugary light, on top of his head. A squat dinosaur shaped like a dog with a spike on it's snout and plates on it's back approaches nonchalantly with no sign of commitment and a small cask worn on it's collar in a nod to the St. Bernard dogs that helped alpine skiers with rum in the 19th C.

But he stands up revealing himself to be Rubble, as he rips off his dinosaur head. and streaks away.

Monday, November 29, 2010


Alright. I decided to make myself a little bit more focused in getting my project off the ground through blogging. To think, if I heard myself say that six years ago I'd probably shudder. Either way, this blog is to serve the purpose of sharing, promoting, and organizing the Sabertooth Tiger Tapes Distro.

Within the month we'll be launching a simple html website with links to download-able and playable versions of some free digital singles as well as an option to purchase tapes via PayPal or by sending money in the mail. Singles are representative of the polished final piece, and tapes are the formative demos, jazz, and noise that create the inspiration for the singles.

We also want to start filming full length music video tapes for distribution within the forseeable future. There is enough pre-created content to keep the website capable of daily updates of art, writing, drawing, and video. I hope you'll enjoy following the process with me as I turn my dream of helping people make and hear their own simple music a reality.